In learning tantra for women, it becomes evident pretty fast that there is considerable responsibility on the female to direct the flow of spiritual and physical intimacy with the male. It is the male’s tendency to rush into the sexual act, and the woman must ensure that spiritual bonding is not neglected. Here, the tantra goddess becomes not only the object of worship but also the director of the tantra ritual of worship.
One of the time-tested tantric techniques that women can use to establish a spiritual basis to a physical encounter is to bring about and maintain eye contact with her man. If this is done correctly, she can capture his undivided attention and ensure that it does not stray from the act of erotic worship. She must remember – even if he forgets – that a worshipful attitude is a must for tantric sex.
Establishing and maintaining eye contact is not as easy as it may seem, and the initial attempts must be supervised by an experienced tantra teacher. Initially, the male’s impulsiveness and focus on the physical act are bound to overwhelm all efforts of the woman to keep his eyes on hers. Mutual nervousness and embarrassment can also defeat sustained, loving eye contact. The constant reassurance and instructions of the tantra master will help both partners to concentrate on this very important tantric technique.
The tantra teacher may instruct both partners to sit cross-legged before each other, at a little less than arm’s distance. This closes off the genital areas from immediate attention and reach and encourages easy eye contact. The partners then hold each other’s’ gazes for at least a couple of minutes. When practiced often enough, this tantric bonding technique may eventually prolong into as much as ten minutes or more.
The eyes are indeed the windows to the soul, and properly instructed partners can literally get lost in each other’s’ eyes and the love that they reflect. Especially for the woman – who craves the attention and adoration of her male partner more than mere physical release – this is an extremely satisfying and enriching experience.
Once lovingly maintained eye contact has brought about the requisite attributes of worshipful adoration and spiritual connection, the hands are slowly brought into play. However, the worshipful mood must not be disrupted by sudden fumbling for each other’s private parts. Instead, the partners may proceed to languidly caress each other at arm’s length, maintaining the cross-legged pose and also eye contact. Another ten minutes of this should suffice to bring physical desire to a peak, after which the partners may abandon the cross-legged posture and stretch out next to each other for a full-fledged erotic encounter.
If this sounds fascinating to you but you feel the self-control required is beyond your capacity, do not despair. A qualified tantra teacher can definitely bring both you and your partner into a zone where such tantric sex encounters are perfectly possible.