Many people are so afraid of being left alone that they don’t want to admit that they are in a bad relationship that is doomed from the very start. They strive to make it work and take on an optimistic outlook, but things still seem to spiral downward out of control.
The best policy is to examine the relationship to see if there are any toxic elements present; here are some clues:
• Verbal degradation; your partner puts you down, especially in front of others
• Empty claims of love; your partner claims to love you, but doesn’t back it up with actions.
• Controlling and dominating actions; making irrational demands, “showing up” at places you are just to “checkup” on you, or reading your mail.
• Attempts to make you vulnerable; your partner tries to make you dependent on them.
• Requesting lifestyle changes about yourself; and you have changed those things to please them.
Obnoxious people who are only out for their own ends make you feel sick just to be around them. So why would anyone wind up in a relationship with them? If these types of people make you feel emotionally ar physically damaged, why would anyone want to be with them?
Forbidding relationships have a particular cycle. The honeymoon period is first, followed by an explosive event, then that is followed up by a reconciliation – at which point the cycle repeats itself.
When you first meet someone who becomes your partner things are rosy and sweet, which is obviously the honeymoon stage. It all seems great until you get sucked in further that you realize that the relationship is not so sweet after all. At that point, it becomes difficult to get out.
The single most reason for this is that many people in bad relationships grew up under similar circumstances in unhealthy homes. Because of that, these people copy the habits of their childhood years while not actually realizing they’re doing it, so they may not understand the options of a better way. Others believe that happiness is something that bounds to escape them. Still others find that a companion, any companion, is better than none.
However, the first task at getting out and staying clear of deplorable relationships is to realize that you do have options. You can make your life better. Often, people who choose to stay in these ill-reputed relationships have low self-esteem or struggle with depression.
Once you understand that you have liberties, the next move is to begin standing up for yourself. In most ill-fated relationships, the obnoxious partner has forced upon you the notion that it is all your fault. Once you accept this, it could be quite challenging to walk away from the relationship or set new parameters at healing it.
For many, working with therapy groups can help these individuals and often get rid of as well as redefine these types of unpleasant relationships.
It is good to know that for some people it is possible to break the cycle of the bad relations. Some of these people manage to go on to create new and more stable bonds with other partners.
However, others are able to repair their relationship and remain in it.
In reality, it is possible to savage many relationships. All it takes is creating a little space. In other situations, it takes a measure of counseling. However, if both partners contribute to the effort, it is practical that a renewed bond can develop in a healthy way.
The very first thing that you need to determine is that you are willing to walk away if the relationship does not improve. If you are not willing to do this, then you’ll never be able to recover and heal whatever it is that divides you.
Once you have freed yourself from the habit that is the central part of an ill-fated relationship, you can start to apply yourself to what you need from the connection. Never nag your partner. Instead, say “I need your support,” “I need your truthful opinion,” or “I need your love.”
If you can’t get what you need, your partner should realize that you’re ready to walk.
A bad relationship is a one-way street, which creates all the adverse conditions. On the other hand, a healthy relationship is a two-way street. Everyone has the power to change that, but you must make it a personal issue and take that power into your own hands.