If you have not worked with a tantra teacher as yet, this question is bound to occur in your mind. Before I explain how tantric sex differs from the normal kind, I must reiterate that ancient tantra is about a lot more than just tantric sex. However, there is an indelible association between sex and tantra in the general mind-set, so this question needs to be answered.
Physical intimacy is an inalienable need of all humans, just as it is in the animal world. Animals copulate joylessly with the primary purpose of procreation. As such, it is an act of survival for the species. When humans engage in sexual contact, the objective is usually enjoyment. In this age of contraception, procreation as the result of sexual contact is an option rather than a given.
But is there joy in such intimacy? Any tantric master can tell you that the answer is ‘no’. In normal sex, two people actually engage in an act of physical and emotional relieving. Sexual tension has built up and needs to be released. If it is not released, it will fester within and cause all sorts of physical and psychological distress.
The enjoyment experienced in garden-variety copulation is brief, with both partners working towards the goal of reaching orgasm. They may wish to prolong the enjoyment and defer sexual climax, but are rarely successful. This is because they approach the whole act from a result-oriented perspective.
In tantric sex, the act of physical intimacy is not about reaching orgasm but of staying in the moment of intimacy for prolonged periods. The effort involved is far less, and the emotional connection between the partners is far greater.
There is a very high level of emotional involvement in the act. It is an act of worship. The partners have been physically, emotionally and spiritually attuned to each other by their tantra training.
In tantra sex, intimate partners employ the specific tantric rituals and techniques that they have learned from their tantra teacher. These rituals and techniques help them to stay in the moment indefinitely – to prolong their enjoyment of each other’s bodies without an agenda or a goal to reach.
When they reach orgasm, they do so after an extended period of all-encompassing connectedness and it is truly an earth-shaking experience. This kind of physical intimacy is the highest kind known to mankind. And this is what tantra sex is all about.