A common fantasy you’ll often stumble across is forced male chastity. Although the details vary, these variations are really variations of style, not substance.
Usually, the man has asked to experiment with the orgasm denial or something similar, his wife or girlfriend has reluctantly agreed at first, but has grown to like it so much he’s now “forced” to stay locked up, can’t do anything about it, and if he does, she’s going to divorce him or something equally drastic.
The fact these stories are all essentially the same is enough to tell us they simply aren’t true; and a moment’s critical thought will tell us without a shadow of doubt that not only are they most unlikely to be true, they often simply cannot be true.
The most powerful argument against the concept of forced male chastity is there is no possible way to prevent a man from cutting the belt or device off.
The unbreakable, inescapable device simply does not and cannot exist.
Thus, any man kept in chastity is kept there by his consent. He keeps the belt or device on by his own conscious choice.
Now, it is possible some women threaten dire consequences, such as divorce, if their man takes refuses to wear a chastity belt or takes it off without permission.
But let’s think about this critically, too.
What benefit would a woman get from this? Divorce is messy and expensive, and at the end of it she’d be stuck in a position her threats attempted to avoid: she wouldn’t have a chaste male under her control (because she’d be single).
From the man’s point of view, I can’t imagine why he’d want to be with any woman who looked at forced male chastity through the lens of emotional and psychological abuse. Apart from anything else, a man so weak as to take that kind of treatment isn’t the kind of man any women worthy of the name would actually want to have around, unless she has some serious self-esteem problems of her own and feels the need to elevate herself by trampling all over others.
So, given that the reality is either physically impossible or existentially undesirable for all concerned because of all the associated emotional and financial fallout, why is the idea of forced male chastity so common and, frankly, such a turn on for both of you?
Like most kinks, it’s more exciting if it’s done TO you than if it’s done FOR you
Why else are bondage, domination, and sado-masochism so common? The psychological reasons are many and varied, and no-doubt complex.
And in truth we don’t have to understand them to enjoy them – and one common way of enjoying them is the “power exchange”. We pretend we’re having things done to us against our will, but really in the wider context of the game, even if at the time we’re resisting, we’ve accepted the rules and given our consent (this is why you have safewords – to tell the other player that the game needs to stop, even if only momentarily).
So why does all this matter?
Well, for a start, the truth does matter. And it matters in particular for men and women who are looking playing with forced male chastity only to be confronted by stories that are enough to scare anyone into celibacy.
But you can rest easy: it is just a game, and unless you’re insane, reckless or mentally unbalanced you can stop the game and change the rules if you’re not getting what you want from it. You can’t be locked into a chastity belt and kept there against your will if you’re a man, and if you’re a woman, you can’t force it on him without his consent.
And if you are so callous and cold you’d insist on forced male chastity regardless of his feelings and threaten to divorce him if he demurs, then you perhaps would benefit from examining the your wider relationship and perhaps even seeking professional help.
How to make it fun
That said, the game can still be a lot of fun, and the illusion of compulsion and lack of choice and determination very powerful and realistic. For example, in the rules of our game, John has given me full control of his orgasms, and we have both communicated openly and clearly and both understand what it means.
Now, at the moment we’re expecting delivery of a new chastity belt and my intention is, after he’s become accustomed and acclimatised to wearing it, to keep John in forced male chastity and orgasm denial for at least one whole year.
Does this mean he can’t escape if he wants to?
Does it mean if he really cannot stand it for whatever reason for that long, I’ll blow my top, get angry and divorce him?
No, of course not.
Because the whole point of the entire lifestyle is to improve our marriage and relationship, to bring us closer, to give us a better sex life and more intimacy. To make this all-too-short life even more exquisite and exciting than it already is.
And you can’t do that if one of you is miserable, unhappy and being kept that way with the gun of divorce pointed at his head. So, yes, forced male chastity is a fun game to play. But don’t take it too seriously and assume it means you have to play it to somehow “win” at all costs.
Because while you might not count or care about the cost you will pay the price.