Dare I say that most affairs are exciting because cheating folks are experiencing their fantasy of exploring an intimate relationship with a person they have become sexually attracted to? However, once reality has set in and one or both individuals realize the risk and potential consequences of cheating, they decide to put the affair on hold. Now the dilemma is should they remain friends after an affair.
I will assume that you (or a very close friend of yours) is struggling with this issue. I think it’s important to understand the dynamics of the friendship and why you cheated before you make your decision.
If your partner knows about the affair, the answer is no way – It will be almost impossible to continue to be friends while your partner is trying to recover from the affair. If your partner is not demanding that you cut off all ties with this friend after an affair, I would sleep with one eye open if I were you.
If your partner doesn’t know about the affair then you have a few things to consider;
• Could your partner find out about the affair if you continue to be friends and frequent the same circles?
• Will the person you cheated with become jealous and make attempts to get you leave your current relationship?
• Do you have the will power to resist the temptation of resuming the affair after you have become friends?
There are no statistics on how many folks are able to remain friends after an affair but if I had to guess I would say it’s a small percentage. In my opinion, the friendship will eventually result in a breakup of the current relationship.
So what should you do about remaining friends after an affair? My suggestion is that you at the very least change your friendship to ensure that you aren’t tempted to cheat again. Make sure that you aren’t around this person in situations where you can be alone (especially if you happen to consume alcoholic beverages). You will not be able to control your desires and my guess is that you will give in a cheat again.
If I were you, I would stop being friends after an affair and do so as quickly as possible. The only way you will ever be committed to your current relationship is if you aren’t thinking about and interacting with the person you cheated with. Your heart will be in two places.