Most men don’t know what women want. Most women don’t know what women want. Sure, conscious choices are obvious. Things like, “I want a man who is funny” and “I’d like to date a guy who is confident” are pretty standard. But let’s face it, if every woman’s criteria for choosing their partner were as simple as these examples, we guys really wouldn’t struggle that much to get chosen, would we? But we do. We really, really do. Most men bumble through the process of attraction and-if they get far enough-seduce like blind men without sticks or guide dogs. They’re forced to feel their way through the whole thing, trial and error style. So let’s cut to the chase: what are the real rules? What do women actually care about subconsciously? Here’s the run down.
To really get to the heart of what happens between men and women when attraction (or repulsion) takes place, you need to rewind a few million years. I’m deadly serious: the roots of attraction lie in the groundwork laid down by our ancestors-our great, great, great, great…well, you get the idea. First you need to understand what the situation was (and still pretty much is). Women produce one egg per month. Men produce about 200 million sperm per day. Things aren’t balanced or anywhere near equal. Because women only produce one egg a month, they have to be very careful about which men they allow to get close to them and even more careful when deciding which guy (or guys) will be the chosen few: the men who get to ‘inseminate’ them. This is all unconscious behaviour. This isn’t controlled by the woman’s (or man’s) conscious mind.
So, women are the ones who choose the men. They check them out, watch their behaviour, assess their status and value, then make their choice accordingly. But that doesn’t mean men are powerless in this game. Far from it. You see, back in the days of mammoths and sabre-tooth tigers (and millions of years before, to be honest) there were two main types of man. The caveman and the gentleman. Let’s define both. A caveman is a rough and ready, playboy style guy. His goal is to inseminate lots of different women in a short space of time. He has the tools to achieve this: he is strong, motivated and a tribal leader. A gentleman is less animalistic. He is reliable and helpful and LOYAL. He’s the guy you want around your kids, but not necessarily the man you want to FATHER your kids. Do you see the distinction? Women want a strong, high status male to inseminate them (because of his tough, refined, prolific genes). But they don’t want to be abandoned after becoming pregnant by this guy-because he will inevitably go off to beat some other caveman over the head, take his woman and impregnate her too. So when they’re pregnant, they want the caveman to ‘settle down’, chill out and become a loyal father. But leopards don’t change their spots. True tribal leaders can only be tied down for so long. But the women don’t want a loyal man who’s there to help out and stuff, but is also fairly meek and weak. So what do they want? They want a COMPROMISE. A perfect mix between a caveman and a gentleman. They want a tribal leader with a loyal and reliable personality. Fast-forward to today, right now, right here. Do women really need a man to raise their kids? No. Do they need a tribal leader to beat up his male rivals on their behalf? No. Do they still have the evolutionary programming that makes them want these two things and more? YES. Hell, yes.
So how do you adopt an attitude and aura of a tribal leader and a ‘gentleman’ in this modern age, a time of bars and nightclubs, parks and parties? A time of equal opportunities between the sexes. You follow a system. You use a formula. You become the guy women see, assess and realize is a man all women see as attractive and all men respect and look up to.